Oroboros

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Within one Word, there is all meaning, yet there is also none at all. That one Word is all and any Word – yet there exists one Unknowable Word that has these exact traits. One can hear it within any sentence and every song, for its all the one Word, the one Sentence, and the One Story. As it is known to me, it is what the ancient Northmen called Ginnungagap – the yawning void, an Oroboros of being and non-being.

Within that Unknowable Word, that Yawning Void, lies the shining shapes present within Mimirs Well. These are known to me, as what they were called by the ancients – Runes – each one separate and distinct but part of a single Whole. Each Rune having its own Essence and Meaning.

The great god Odin, (whose ravens are known as Hugin and Munin (Thought and Memory) primordial shaman and ever present wanderer over the liminal boundary between this World (Dumnos) and the Other (Andumnos) as well as the Nine whole worlds that exist within the realm of Life and Death, was the first being to ever realize and grasp ahold of these Runes. Hanging upon the great World Tree, Yggdrasil, Odin had pierced his side with his Spear Gungnir, and while he suffered for nine days and nine icy nights, he finally died and realized the Runes.

Runes – in their limited number and limited meanings – divide existence into more comprehensible parts. The letters I now use to form words, the sounds they make when spoken; each sound having its own sense that to which we attach meaning. This dual nature of existence – that its both void and all – cannot be comprehended without symbols for our consciousness to grasp hold of, dividing the All into the Many. This is both the problem and solution to consciousness – we are all separate individual consciousnesses on one level but ultimately one entire consciousness on another. We need symbols to be able to bridge the gap between our consciousnesses and when two consciousnesses are on the ‘same page’ a micro-version of unity with the primordial is found.

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We – as consciousness – are Time. A single point in the universe can only perceive itself. A line can perceive itself, and the single points below it.

A sphere can perceive the lines and points that make it – yet none of these points, lines, or spheres can perceive change. They exist in the stagnant, ever present – Ginnungagap – the Yawning Void.

The initial blast that caused the universe to form – the exact beginning of Change – was the dawning of consciousness. Without one to perceive change, there can be no change. Without change, there is no Time. We – as consciousness – are Time?

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Mortality

As of the last post, I’ve had plenty of existential wanderings within my philosophy and life. But it makes sense, because 2015 was the year where I finally began to face my mortality.

The initial spark for it all came in April, with the death of an old friend from high-school. Although he was ridiculed in school for his looks, his introverted personality, and his passion for professional wrestling, he never let that dull the brightness he saw in everyone he met. He was practically impoverished, yet would give his meager possessions to anyone in need – even if that person was undeserving.

He pursued his dream of being an amateur professional wrestler, attracting a large following of fans who saw the kindness he had within him. While I was looking on the face of my young, dead friend, I realized that I had been treading water for far too long. I did not like my life – I felt alone, unloved, underpaid and overworked. Here was a man who was underpaid and overworked, but loved more than anything.

So I started spiritual introspection, re-reading the New Testament of the Bible. I quit my job, and went back to work at Starbucks. I applied to take the GRE, and attend grad school down in Tennessee living at some family property in Knoxville. I was hoping that I’d finally be able to find better work and more importantly, love.

But of course, since not all things are expected, it’s unwise to expect everything.

Ecce Homo

It has been a long while since I last posted onto this blog, and that is something I intend to reverse. I’ve gone through many changes over the period of time since my last posting, and although my worldview may be different, the overall guiding virtues are the same.

Over the past twelve years, I’ve been somewhat of a seeker of truth. I’ve follow a path through the forest of this life, encountering many twists and turns that have brought me to my current point. Every day we each takes steps that bring us from who we once were to who we will become, yet those steps are often infinitesimally small and unperceivable in the perpetual present we seem to inhabit.  Its been called the ‘end of history’ illusion – we each believe we’ve achieved significant growth up to our current state, but can’t imagine our present perceptions or thoughts evolving much more in the future.

This ‘end of history’ illusion is something that seems to have enveloped my mind in the time since I finally acquired my bachelors degree. Due to my failures in a relationship I had held very dear, a combination of this illusion and depression clouded my mind to the hope that I and my life would change in any positive way. I was thoroughly set in my ways – I was an anarchic neo-pagan, clouded with disillusionment and the gloom-and-doom that seemed to permeate every thought I had. It was me against the world, and the world seemed to have already won.

Over time I began to spiral in onto myself in my thoughts. Having been raised and educated to question every piece of information I come across, I found myself questioning the very basis of my long held beliefs. ‘Why do I feel that neo-paganism was correct?’ and ‘Why do I advocate anarchism, or revolutionary thinking?’ were my primary questions. I had questioned authority for so long – but with the job I have worked in for the past year, I am authority. I finally realized how hard it is to control people, despite it being in their own best interest.

What I ultimately arrived at was that I had felt wronged by society, that I was a victim and an ‘other’. Throughout my formative years I had been bullied, and throughout my relationships I had been taken advantaged of. In hindsight I would call it a victim complex. I had blamed Western civilization, Christianity, and my own recent (as in the past 2000 years) ancestors for the problems I dealt with. “If only they hadn’t won…” I always thought.

But it started to change on me when I finally realized that my problem had always been with modern culture. I had always looked back through history and had wished I live in those times rather in these. What are my problems with modern culture? Its baselessness, its lack of ‘objective truth’ other than in a skewed sense of equality. I don’t deny science or the equal God-given rights to ever human, in any way – but I felt that religions, traditions, and cultural institutions of the past gave people more guidance for their everyday lives despite the fact those lives were much more rigid in freedom.

In my attempt to fight back at modern culture, I had always clung tightly to neo-paganism and a fantasy aesthetic, combined with a love of all things post-apocalyptic. I still feel as though climate change, dwindling resources, financial crises, and various  threats of violence may bring about a collapse of society, but my hope has been renewed in what I would consider the sphere of Western civilization. both within and outside it. Perhaps we are on the cusp of a new dark age –  instead of joining the barbarians at the gates, I would much rather be one of the men-at-arms defending it. This is why I have finally renounced the pagan gods for good, and accepted Christ and the Triune God.

 

 

 

Meaning

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Anyone who has been exposed to the knowledge of what is going on in the world and really cares has probably found ourselves in a frame of mind where nearly everything we see invokes thoughts and knowledge of what is wrong with it.

 When driving between school, work, and home I couldn’t help but notice the pointless hurry that everyone seems to be in. Pick-up trucks with ‘Nobama’ bumper stickers swerving into my lane without signaling. Massive tractor trailers flying past. Headlights ‘riding my ass’ because five miles over the speed limit is not fast enough. Every one of these people is rushing for some reason – and risking their life and everything they know – but for what?
 I turn on the radio. Yet another ‘hit’ about living life ‘big’,  how love was lost, something about meaningless sex or how much better the singers life is than anyone else. The song stops and an obnoxious ad comes on about how the latest thing at McDonalds is amazing. I turn it off, or turn it to one of the cds of my favorite band – a Celtic folk death metal band from Switzerland that sings songs about natures beauty, or the ancient Gauls resistance against Rome.
 When I walk through parking lots (which in itself should be seen as a curse), I notice oil droplets in puddles and think of petroleum’s ubiquitous presence in nearly every nook and cranny of this world. I think of it polluting soils, streams, and oceans. I think of its burning polluting the air, causing shifts in climate regimes, affecting countless species. I think of it being made into plastic that floats in the streams and oceans of our mother Earth, as well as in the blood streams of every human I know. I think of how tainted and unhallowed everything has become.
 The readings hit to the heart of the lack of holiness for natural existence in modern society. Everything has become a means for acquisition and endless consumption, whether it be places, objects, or living things. It is the sole point of modern life and there is absolutely no questioning of it nor is there any hiding it. Why is this the case? How is it okay that we can’t even escape plastic, chemicals, or human technology? Why is it that our lives are completely the antithesis of how we evolved to live (if the horrible amounts of mental illness show)? How is it that I (and perhaps all of you) are the only ones that sometimes can’t sleep because we are too busy thinking of how crazy this all is?
 Take the book ‘American Gods’ by Neil Gaiman. Its an incredible novel that asks what a ‘god’ truly is. In the book, gods from various mythologies have been brought to America by immigration in various forms and are living as real, living breathing beings. Its shown that they need worship to have power, and the old polytheistic gods have waned in power due to the coming of ‘new gods’ – the gods of Media, Corporations, the Economy, the Internet, and so forth. Mr. Wednesday, the Americanized version of Odin of Norse mythology, decides to round up the main character and various other mythological entities to combat these new gods. Its pretty amazing.
 It got me thinking of the idea of corporations and the ‘invisible hand’ of the market as being very much like gods that our society has bent their lives to. We worship them through rituals of watching media and purchasing things, and it only makes them stronger. These gods are only bringing on the destruction of the world and of our lives, because we have all become their slaves – their ‘high priests’ being manipulative CEO’s, politicians, and scientists.
 Do we want nature – who has always shown to bring forth life from death, benefiting both herself and us, cycling through time immemorial – to rule us?  Or do we want the controllers and concentrations of power that are just as ignorant and flawed as ourselves to move us recklessly for their own benefit? Do we want meaning now or the endless pursuit of finding meaning in emptiness?

Millenialism

Pardon me for being a little anti-establishment, Marxist, or possibly a little conspiracy theorist in my reasoning – but there are several observations I’ve made over the past few years that I really want to mention.

I am further coming to grips with my identity as a Millennial, and it bothers me. I feel as though my generation both gives and receives a whole lot of misdirected blame. However, could I maybe pose the question that this ‘underemployment’ and ‘narcissism’ is perhaps ‘the system’ working its own favor?

Its apparent that ‘the system’ is constantly trying to distract us, in order to acquire our time in order to get at our money. Facebook, the latest celebrity news, Twitter, video games, smartphones, pornography, new technological gadgets and services- the amount of weapons that ‘the system’ has at its disposal increases every day. All of these things create a sense of alienation between us as citizens, family members, relationship partners, and coworkers. In terms of ‘the system’ – this is a good thing.

Dividing us socially, creating certain boundaries that one needs to pass in order to be accepted – such as having to dress a certain way, own certain items, or modify ones behavior – allow new markets to open up. ‘The system’ has agreed that certain behaviors, items, and services are the ‘in thing’ and so we are required to acquire them in order to maintain some semblance of being content.

The need to acquire these fetishized items, services, and modes of behavior creates an anxiety in people. This allows for even further penetration of these countless distractions, so that those in control of these distractions can increase the amount of power that they already have.

This leads to the concept that a society’s values serve the ‘powers that be’ in some form. Isn’t it apparent that our society – that values instantaneous communication, instant gratification in relationships, and ‘excitement’ in the form of games – stresses only those things that sell and concentrate power for a decreasing few of people?

As a young man, I am encouraged to NOT settle down, to not be romantically or seriously attached to any particular woman. I am told to not get engaged, because its ‘rushing things’. I should ‘keep my options open’. It is almost the same thing as employment.  Isn’t this a form of cultural values serving the powers that be?

Its an excuse to help further extend adolescence, and make it so we think of the present instead of the future. If I am not investing in building a family, I am more likely to spend time and money on consumer goods. If I am not investing in my future, I can spend my money now and ‘build the economy’. If I am not attached to any one person, it makes it easier to market sexuality and ‘excitement’. If I am not attaching my fate to another persons, I am more easily able to not have any commitments, allowing those in control to take advantage of me. If I am not attached to any one place, person, or ideal there is no excuse other than to use me. Life is rendered meaningless so that we can be exploited.

This is essentially the same as the process of being ripped out of our hometowns and being processed in college in order to be a free-floating, unattached cog in a machine drifting towards the flow of money.

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Soul

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“The word ‘soul’ supposedly originated from a Germanic word related to ‘coming from or belonging to the sea’. The usage of bottled water could be seen as a symbol for the entrapment of our souls. Water, ultimately residing in the sea after its long cyclical journey through the environment, is encased in an artificial containment and separated from the reality of nature. When used, and I put emphasis on this word, the prison of this water is hastily and recklessly disposed of and wasted – sometimes ending up in the oceans where its prisoner once desired to be. Just as water frees itself from its plastic prison and joins the whole in the circle of the hydrologic cycle, I hope humanity will realize the error of its ways and finally free itself from the entrapment of civilization. Of course, if this ever occurs, the broken and unused shell of it will always remain, floating endlessly without purpose over the blue face of this Earth.” – Justin Linn O’Brien