Eternity II

They say that nature is full of fractals.

Wikipedia defines a fractal as:

“…a natural phenomenon or a mathematical set that exhibits a repeating pattern that displays at every scale.”

Make a few Google searches of ‘the fractal nature of the universe’ or any other description of this idea, and you will come across a variety of images comparing brain cells with a simulated image of the expansion of the universe. Look at images of rivers, lightning, nerves, or the branches and roots of a tree. Lines of descent in regards to family and evolution. Fractal patterns everywhere.

What if one contemplated all the actions originating from that primal first cause? It would be fractal, like the branches of a tree.

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What if each of these branches is a ‘conscious’ decision? Essentially the idea I’ve worked out in previous posts.

Possibly certain ‘consciousnesses’ lower than the supreme primordial/eternal consciousness are aware of whole lines of actions/reactions involving certain collections of molecules. These ‘consciousnesses’ could be called ‘gods’ or ‘angels’.

This fractal relationship of consciousness could be a fanciful way to explain the ties between family and friends, or those who meet each other and have intense connections. This would be the bond between people who are ‘branches of the same tree’, speaking the same language or remembering the same memories. Connections where communication is most clear.

What if this fractal, branching view of reality could be used to explain language, song, or stories? The ‘primordial’ and ‘eternal’ could be latent within all modes of symbolic thought. Archetypes within stories, sentences, and songs could possibly all be boiled down to one ‘word’ – the eternal, unknowable, and unspeakable word. It would be pure Being itself – a symbol that means all things and nothing, beyond the concepts of duality.  Because our minds are within existence,  we can’t perceive the meaning of anything higher than it.

Eternity I

A few months ago, I was asked to define ‘the eternal’ or ‘the primordial’. Of course, being in an almost overwhelming state of romantic feelings spurred quite the answer in me.

I feel that ‘the eternal’ and ‘the primordial’ are things that people get close to during certain sorts of mental states, chiefly the state of love. I would also say that it is often touched during other moments of intense feeling such as sexual union, strife, birth, and death and it ultimately is where the line between the ‘self’ and the ‘other’ is dissolved.

It seems as though all religions give the basic idea that humanity – being finite beings amidst a seemingly infinite state of Being – crave union with that omnipresent state. To be conscious is to chase infinity – to reunite with the One. Perhaps any equalization of pressures or forces, whether they be electrical, aqueous, gaseous, or even gravity itself – is merely a pull towards unified non-duality.
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I would say then that ‘the eternal’ or ‘the primordial’ is primarily the unification of consciousness. It is the self realizing it is one with the Other, the state of emotion where concepts such as fate are real. “I and this Other are one, and the path between I and It has been there since the beginning.”  It is the equalization of water pressures and gas concentrations, as well as the attraction of comets being pulled in towards stars – all being pulled into a singular Oneness.

This is why I think ‘the eternal’ or ‘the primordial’ is most present in ideal romantic love, particularly between two consciousnesses that feel a ‘soul mate’ connection. It is like an impermanent death – being in the arms of your beloved, gazing down into their eyes as if you’re staring into the eyes of God.

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Perhaps its feeling a brief union with that Consciousness that is aware of all other consciousness. Perhaps that spark of divine Being that is within us all knowingly chooses to forget its unity with the rest of creation. Perhaps when it realizes this – at the moment of death, or the final equalization of an energy exchange –  it feels an immense boredom.

Imagine existing as eternity as one omniscient and all-powerful consciousness that can see down every line of cause and effect. The one state of being before the beginning of Time, before the beginning of change – before that oneness turned into two.  Perhaps division was a destined action, and the desire for unity is present within all actions.

 

Ecce Homo

It has been a long while since I last posted onto this blog, and that is something I intend to reverse. I’ve gone through many changes over the period of time since my last posting, and although my worldview may be different, the overall guiding virtues are the same.

Over the past twelve years, I’ve been somewhat of a seeker of truth. I’ve follow a path through the forest of this life, encountering many twists and turns that have brought me to my current point. Every day we each takes steps that bring us from who we once were to who we will become, yet those steps are often infinitesimally small and unperceivable in the perpetual present we seem to inhabit.  Its been called the ‘end of history’ illusion – we each believe we’ve achieved significant growth up to our current state, but can’t imagine our present perceptions or thoughts evolving much more in the future.

This ‘end of history’ illusion is something that seems to have enveloped my mind in the time since I finally acquired my bachelors degree. Due to my failures in a relationship I had held very dear, a combination of this illusion and depression clouded my mind to the hope that I and my life would change in any positive way. I was thoroughly set in my ways – I was an anarchic neo-pagan, clouded with disillusionment and the gloom-and-doom that seemed to permeate every thought I had. It was me against the world, and the world seemed to have already won.

Over time I began to spiral in onto myself in my thoughts. Having been raised and educated to question every piece of information I come across, I found myself questioning the very basis of my long held beliefs. ‘Why do I feel that neo-paganism was correct?’ and ‘Why do I advocate anarchism, or revolutionary thinking?’ were my primary questions. I had questioned authority for so long – but with the job I have worked in for the past year, I am authority. I finally realized how hard it is to control people, despite it being in their own best interest.

What I ultimately arrived at was that I had felt wronged by society, that I was a victim and an ‘other’. Throughout my formative years I had been bullied, and throughout my relationships I had been taken advantaged of. In hindsight I would call it a victim complex. I had blamed Western civilization, Christianity, and my own recent (as in the past 2000 years) ancestors for the problems I dealt with. “If only they hadn’t won…” I always thought.

But it started to change on me when I finally realized that my problem had always been with modern culture. I had always looked back through history and had wished I live in those times rather in these. What are my problems with modern culture? Its baselessness, its lack of ‘objective truth’ other than in a skewed sense of equality. I don’t deny science or the equal God-given rights to ever human, in any way – but I felt that religions, traditions, and cultural institutions of the past gave people more guidance for their everyday lives despite the fact those lives were much more rigid in freedom.

In my attempt to fight back at modern culture, I had always clung tightly to neo-paganism and a fantasy aesthetic, combined with a love of all things post-apocalyptic. I still feel as though climate change, dwindling resources, financial crises, and various  threats of violence may bring about a collapse of society, but my hope has been renewed in what I would consider the sphere of Western civilization. both within and outside it. Perhaps we are on the cusp of a new dark age –  instead of joining the barbarians at the gates, I would much rather be one of the men-at-arms defending it. This is why I have finally renounced the pagan gods for good, and accepted Christ and the Triune God.