Eternity III

We all each go through every day not knowing what it will bring. This is because we are each finite individuals with limited means of perception, unable to know what we can’t perceive with our five senses. Obviously, we have various means of technology that allow us to see the incredibly small or measure the most minute or grand of quantities. But we still cannot see within the minds of another individual, save perhaps CT scans and brain probes. Nor can we see into the future.

Not knowing is the supreme problem of our finite consciousnesses. Knowing all would be the supreme problem of an infinite consciousness.

Imagine creating a universe within your mind that is as real as all that you are perceiving now. How would you make it? Would you have all that you wanted – love, health, and wealth? You’ve probably had these such of dreams while sleeping.

What seems to be days (or even longer stretches of time) can pass in dreams. Its as if our brains are running faster than reality, creating their own bubble universes off of our waking one.

Imagine your brain were even more powerful than it currently is and could make those dreams reality. Days, weeks, months, years, and eons could pass by, and you’d have the power to fulfill all your wishes. You would have everything to the point of wanting nothing. They would cancel each other out, and a state that could be described as boredom might arise.

Ultimately, not knowing is the supreme problem of consciousness, but its also the primarily solution. If we knew exactly what were to happen in every way, having all power and ability to receive everything that we wanted, we would grow bored. Perhaps, if we had the ability to attain anything we wanted, we would divide ourselves into separate consciousnesses to deal with an eternal existence of knowing everything.

This is what I believe is the meaning of life. We are all one Consciousness, one Being (known to some as God) that are beyond any sort of duality in the ideal ultimate ‘Oneness’ that is beyond. Everything that we see is one with us and a part of the dream. It all began with the ‘Big Bang’ – the primordial, eternal Oneness ‘booting up’ an entire universal program in order to spend eternity ‘productively’.

This eternal, primordial oneness is ‘being and becoming’ – its cyclical with both beginning and end existing within every moment, in a timeless eternal present.

We tap into it when we see patterns, the same pattern states within every sentence or action. We perceive it when we find truth – not the entire truth, but small sections of it – within some sort of communication between two consciousnesses.

Children are perhaps closer to that primordial Oneness, in the sense that they lack concepts in language that divide their selves from the rest of existence. Children obviously are extremely curious, and as they develop, they acquire more and more symbols and connotations associated with things.

Essentially, a young human develops their ego by learning symbols and connotations associated with their perceptions that allow it to become a singular self. Theoretically, this singular self will succeed in life, passing on its genetic and cultural legacy. But the threat of loss and death is what drives human consciousness to find its oneness with reality.

With death, this arrangement of stardust animated by sunlight ceases to run, and the consciousness returns back to the oneness of dissipated molecules and simpler energetic processes.

Eternity II

They say that nature is full of fractals.

Wikipedia defines a fractal as:

“…a natural phenomenon or a mathematical set that exhibits a repeating pattern that displays at every scale.”

Make a few Google searches of ‘the fractal nature of the universe’ or any other description of this idea, and you will come across a variety of images comparing brain cells with a simulated image of the expansion of the universe. Look at images of rivers, lightning, nerves, or the branches and roots of a tree. Lines of descent in regards to family and evolution. Fractal patterns everywhere.

What if one contemplated all the actions originating from that primal first cause? It would be fractal, like the branches of a tree.

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What if each of these branches is a ‘conscious’ decision? Essentially the idea I’ve worked out in previous posts.

Possibly certain ‘consciousnesses’ lower than the supreme primordial/eternal consciousness are aware of whole lines of actions/reactions involving certain collections of molecules. These ‘consciousnesses’ could be called ‘gods’ or ‘angels’.

This fractal relationship of consciousness could be a fanciful way to explain the ties between family and friends, or those who meet each other and have intense connections. This would be the bond between people who are ‘branches of the same tree’, speaking the same language or remembering the same memories. Connections where communication is most clear.

What if this fractal, branching view of reality could be used to explain language, song, or stories? The ‘primordial’ and ‘eternal’ could be latent within all modes of symbolic thought. Archetypes within stories, sentences, and songs could possibly all be boiled down to one ‘word’ – the eternal, unknowable, and unspeakable word. It would be pure Being itself – a symbol that means all things and nothing, beyond the concepts of duality.  Because our minds are within existence,  we can’t perceive the meaning of anything higher than it.

Eternity I

A few months ago, I was asked to define ‘the eternal’ or ‘the primordial’. Of course, being in an almost overwhelming state of romantic feelings spurred quite the answer in me.

I feel that ‘the eternal’ and ‘the primordial’ are things that people get close to during certain sorts of mental states, chiefly the state of love. I would also say that it is often touched during other moments of intense feeling such as sexual union, strife, birth, and death and it ultimately is where the line between the ‘self’ and the ‘other’ is dissolved.

It seems as though all religions give the basic idea that humanity – being finite beings amidst a seemingly infinite state of Being – crave union with that omnipresent state. To be conscious is to chase infinity – to reunite with the One. Perhaps any equalization of pressures or forces, whether they be electrical, aqueous, gaseous, or even gravity itself – is merely a pull towards unified non-duality.
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I would say then that ‘the eternal’ or ‘the primordial’ is primarily the unification of consciousness. It is the self realizing it is one with the Other, the state of emotion where concepts such as fate are real. “I and this Other are one, and the path between I and It has been there since the beginning.”  It is the equalization of water pressures and gas concentrations, as well as the attraction of comets being pulled in towards stars – all being pulled into a singular Oneness.

This is why I think ‘the eternal’ or ‘the primordial’ is most present in ideal romantic love, particularly between two consciousnesses that feel a ‘soul mate’ connection. It is like an impermanent death – being in the arms of your beloved, gazing down into their eyes as if you’re staring into the eyes of God.

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Perhaps its feeling a brief union with that Consciousness that is aware of all other consciousness. Perhaps that spark of divine Being that is within us all knowingly chooses to forget its unity with the rest of creation. Perhaps when it realizes this – at the moment of death, or the final equalization of an energy exchange –  it feels an immense boredom.

Imagine existing as eternity as one omniscient and all-powerful consciousness that can see down every line of cause and effect. The one state of being before the beginning of Time, before the beginning of change – before that oneness turned into two.  Perhaps division was a destined action, and the desire for unity is present within all actions.

 

Oroboros

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Within one Word, there is all meaning, yet there is also none at all. That one Word is all and any Word – yet there exists one Unknowable Word that has these exact traits. One can hear it within any sentence and every song, for its all the one Word, the one Sentence, and the One Story. As it is known to me, it is what the ancient Northmen called Ginnungagap – the yawning void, an Oroboros of being and non-being.

Within that Unknowable Word, that Yawning Void, lies the shining shapes present within Mimirs Well. These are known to me, as what they were called by the ancients – Runes – each one separate and distinct but part of a single Whole. Each Rune having its own Essence and Meaning.

The great god Odin, (whose ravens are known as Hugin and Munin (Thought and Memory) primordial shaman and ever present wanderer over the liminal boundary between this World (Dumnos) and the Other (Andumnos) as well as the Nine whole worlds that exist within the realm of Life and Death, was the first being to ever realize and grasp ahold of these Runes. Hanging upon the great World Tree, Yggdrasil, Odin had pierced his side with his Spear Gungnir, and while he suffered for nine days and nine icy nights, he finally died and realized the Runes.

Runes – in their limited number and limited meanings – divide existence into more comprehensible parts. The letters I now use to form words, the sounds they make when spoken; each sound having its own sense that to which we attach meaning. This dual nature of existence – that its both void and all – cannot be comprehended without symbols for our consciousness to grasp hold of, dividing the All into the Many. This is both the problem and solution to consciousness – we are all separate individual consciousnesses on one level but ultimately one entire consciousness on another. We need symbols to be able to bridge the gap between our consciousnesses and when two consciousnesses are on the ‘same page’ a micro-version of unity with the primordial is found.

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We – as consciousness – are Time. A single point in the universe can only perceive itself. A line can perceive itself, and the single points below it.

A sphere can perceive the lines and points that make it – yet none of these points, lines, or spheres can perceive change. They exist in the stagnant, ever present – Ginnungagap – the Yawning Void.

The initial blast that caused the universe to form – the exact beginning of Change – was the dawning of consciousness. Without one to perceive change, there can be no change. Without change, there is no Time. We – as consciousness – are Time?

Mortality

As of the last post, I’ve had plenty of existential wanderings within my philosophy and life. But it makes sense, because 2015 was the year where I finally began to face my mortality.

The initial spark for it all came in April, with the death of an old friend from high-school. Although he was ridiculed in school for his looks, his introverted personality, and his passion for professional wrestling, he never let that dull the brightness he saw in everyone he met. He was practically impoverished, yet would give his meager possessions to anyone in need – even if that person was undeserving.

He pursued his dream of being an amateur professional wrestler, attracting a large following of fans who saw the kindness he had within him. While I was looking on the face of my young, dead friend, I realized that I had been treading water for far too long. I did not like my life – I felt alone, unloved, underpaid and overworked. Here was a man who was underpaid and overworked, but loved more than anything.

So I started spiritual introspection, re-reading the New Testament of the Bible. I quit my job, and went back to work at Starbucks. I applied to take the GRE, and attend grad school down in Tennessee living at some family property in Knoxville. I was hoping that I’d finally be able to find better work and more importantly, love.

But of course, since not all things are expected, it’s unwise to expect everything.

Ecce Homo

It has been a long while since I last posted onto this blog, and that is something I intend to reverse. I’ve gone through many changes over the period of time since my last posting, and although my worldview may be different, the overall guiding virtues are the same.

Over the past twelve years, I’ve been somewhat of a seeker of truth. I’ve follow a path through the forest of this life, encountering many twists and turns that have brought me to my current point. Every day we each takes steps that bring us from who we once were to who we will become, yet those steps are often infinitesimally small and unperceivable in the perpetual present we seem to inhabit.  Its been called the ‘end of history’ illusion – we each believe we’ve achieved significant growth up to our current state, but can’t imagine our present perceptions or thoughts evolving much more in the future.

This ‘end of history’ illusion is something that seems to have enveloped my mind in the time since I finally acquired my bachelors degree. Due to my failures in a relationship I had held very dear, a combination of this illusion and depression clouded my mind to the hope that I and my life would change in any positive way. I was thoroughly set in my ways – I was an anarchic neo-pagan, clouded with disillusionment and the gloom-and-doom that seemed to permeate every thought I had. It was me against the world, and the world seemed to have already won.

Over time I began to spiral in onto myself in my thoughts. Having been raised and educated to question every piece of information I come across, I found myself questioning the very basis of my long held beliefs. ‘Why do I feel that neo-paganism was correct?’ and ‘Why do I advocate anarchism, or revolutionary thinking?’ were my primary questions. I had questioned authority for so long – but with the job I have worked in for the past year, I am authority. I finally realized how hard it is to control people, despite it being in their own best interest.

What I ultimately arrived at was that I had felt wronged by society, that I was a victim and an ‘other’. Throughout my formative years I had been bullied, and throughout my relationships I had been taken advantaged of. In hindsight I would call it a victim complex. I had blamed Western civilization, Christianity, and my own recent (as in the past 2000 years) ancestors for the problems I dealt with. “If only they hadn’t won…” I always thought.

But it started to change on me when I finally realized that my problem had always been with modern culture. I had always looked back through history and had wished I live in those times rather in these. What are my problems with modern culture? Its baselessness, its lack of ‘objective truth’ other than in a skewed sense of equality. I don’t deny science or the equal God-given rights to ever human, in any way – but I felt that religions, traditions, and cultural institutions of the past gave people more guidance for their everyday lives despite the fact those lives were much more rigid in freedom.

In my attempt to fight back at modern culture, I had always clung tightly to neo-paganism and a fantasy aesthetic, combined with a love of all things post-apocalyptic. I still feel as though climate change, dwindling resources, financial crises, and various  threats of violence may bring about a collapse of society, but my hope has been renewed in what I would consider the sphere of Western civilization. both within and outside it. Perhaps we are on the cusp of a new dark age –  instead of joining the barbarians at the gates, I would much rather be one of the men-at-arms defending it. This is why I have finally renounced the pagan gods for good, and accepted Christ and the Triune God.

 

 

 

Meaning

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Anyone who has been exposed to the knowledge of what is going on in the world and really cares has probably found ourselves in a frame of mind where nearly everything we see invokes thoughts and knowledge of what is wrong with it.

 When driving between school, work, and home I couldn’t help but notice the pointless hurry that everyone seems to be in. Pick-up trucks with ‘Nobama’ bumper stickers swerving into my lane without signaling. Massive tractor trailers flying past. Headlights ‘riding my ass’ because five miles over the speed limit is not fast enough. Every one of these people is rushing for some reason – and risking their life and everything they know – but for what?
 I turn on the radio. Yet another ‘hit’ about living life ‘big’,  how love was lost, something about meaningless sex or how much better the singers life is than anyone else. The song stops and an obnoxious ad comes on about how the latest thing at McDonalds is amazing. I turn it off, or turn it to one of the cds of my favorite band – a Celtic folk death metal band from Switzerland that sings songs about natures beauty, or the ancient Gauls resistance against Rome.
 When I walk through parking lots (which in itself should be seen as a curse), I notice oil droplets in puddles and think of petroleum’s ubiquitous presence in nearly every nook and cranny of this world. I think of it polluting soils, streams, and oceans. I think of its burning polluting the air, causing shifts in climate regimes, affecting countless species. I think of it being made into plastic that floats in the streams and oceans of our mother Earth, as well as in the blood streams of every human I know. I think of how tainted and unhallowed everything has become.
 The readings hit to the heart of the lack of holiness for natural existence in modern society. Everything has become a means for acquisition and endless consumption, whether it be places, objects, or living things. It is the sole point of modern life and there is absolutely no questioning of it nor is there any hiding it. Why is this the case? How is it okay that we can’t even escape plastic, chemicals, or human technology? Why is it that our lives are completely the antithesis of how we evolved to live (if the horrible amounts of mental illness show)? How is it that I (and perhaps all of you) are the only ones that sometimes can’t sleep because we are too busy thinking of how crazy this all is?
 Take the book ‘American Gods’ by Neil Gaiman. Its an incredible novel that asks what a ‘god’ truly is. In the book, gods from various mythologies have been brought to America by immigration in various forms and are living as real, living breathing beings. Its shown that they need worship to have power, and the old polytheistic gods have waned in power due to the coming of ‘new gods’ – the gods of Media, Corporations, the Economy, the Internet, and so forth. Mr. Wednesday, the Americanized version of Odin of Norse mythology, decides to round up the main character and various other mythological entities to combat these new gods. Its pretty amazing.
 It got me thinking of the idea of corporations and the ‘invisible hand’ of the market as being very much like gods that our society has bent their lives to. We worship them through rituals of watching media and purchasing things, and it only makes them stronger. These gods are only bringing on the destruction of the world and of our lives, because we have all become their slaves – their ‘high priests’ being manipulative CEO’s, politicians, and scientists.
 Do we want nature – who has always shown to bring forth life from death, benefiting both herself and us, cycling through time immemorial – to rule us?  Or do we want the controllers and concentrations of power that are just as ignorant and flawed as ourselves to move us recklessly for their own benefit? Do we want meaning now or the endless pursuit of finding meaning in emptiness?